Life in Kuala Lumpur is much like life in any other large multicultural city, except for one thing…
Like ants, we march every day – we march to work, through hallways and across the street. In order to do so efficiently we have developed a very simple system called “the right of way.” Since birth, we of the “western” world are trained to adhere to this silent code of transportation. We do it moderately well.
It works like this.
In the likely event you come across another sentient being during your travels, steer yourself to the right side of your plane of movement to avoid an awkward shimmy shuffle that would otherwise follow.
It gets more complicated.
If you are travelling in a channel where the relative velocity amongst vessels is constant, maintain your position to the right to allow faster moving vessels to pass.
Are you ready for a mind explosion?
There are parts of the world that do not practise this fundamental transportational law. In fact, they learn the opposite. More insulting, they argue that it’s the “right” way! How ignorant. People have been moving the right way for centuries. I don’t recall any reference, in any text to a left of way.
It’s high calorie travel without the flavour.
In an increasingly borderless world that facilitates the movement of thousands of people between nations, I fear the eventuality of a nuclear sized seizure in international commuting. Like a McChicken fed artery, the veins of traffic will be clogged with a circus of sideways waddles, shimmy shakes and clumsy bumps.
There is a simple solution.
I move that we create an international tribunal to end this debate once and for all. We must come together to preserve our ability to move from one place to another. Otherwise I am seriously going to run into somebody over here – and it’s not going to be pretty.
So, before you Take Off, practise the hallway shuffle and the stairwell jig, because you’ll probably have to dance.